3/26/14

Cinema #34: Top 30 T&A '73


In my opinion 1972 was the year all hell broke loose. Deep Throat and Last Tango in Paris were playing on Main Street.  Sexual Liberation was in the air, and cinema was quick to hitch a ride on the gravy train. Restrictions had been lifted a few years earlier, but by '72 even the remaining restrictions were ignored.  It seemed the motion picture industry's censors were asleep at the wheel, and it was time to get down.

I thought I'd start with the following year and drill down on the top 30 movies which delivered the goods to the hungry masses. Is this the Internet's definitive list? Why yes it is.



Note (1): This is not a list of the top nude scenes. Granted, many of these do have nudity, but that's not a requirement.

Note (2) These are the top films not scenes.  If a single scene is good enough to put it on the list, then so be it (as in our #1 choice).  After all, T&A does not stand for "talent and ability".

Note (3)  I am leaving out purely softcore ventures because that would simply take the fun out of it.  You don't need me to tell you that Diary of a Nymphomaniac has ample T&A.

Still, I'd like to hear your comments on painful omissions and thoughts of those included on this list.  Don't dwell too long on the ranking order.  Enjoy.


1.   THE WICKER MAN


The haunting pagan sex song accompanied by Brit Ekland flailing around her room butt naked has to be seen to be believed.  Two thumbs up from The Equalizer.


2.   CARRY ON GIRLS


For more on this cheeky little gem, read a Retrospace post on the Carry On films.  About as harmless as Benny Hill, and every bit as fun.


3.   THE SINFUL DWARF


I still stand by my assertion that The Sinful Dwarf is the funnest and sickest film ever made. Movies like A Serbian Film and Cannibal Holocaust may be sicker, but they sure ain't funner.  This movie grabs the prize as the ultimate grindhouse shocker, with a parade of perversity that starts from the very first frame and doesn't ever let up.  It's made even more watchable by the lovely and mysterious Ann Sparrow, who faded into absolute obscurity after this demented film was made.


4.   MS. DON JUAN


Brigitte Bardot and Jane Birkin in bed together.... naked?  Plus, this is Bardot's last film ever, so the spectacle has extra gravitas.  


5.   THE LAST OF SHEILA


Why does The Last of Sheila get such high marks? The reason is actually quite mathematical:  It boils down to this equation: R + B = OgHy.  (Where R = Raquel, B = bikini, and OgHy = Oh God, Hell Yes)


6.   BABA YAGA


S&M witches based on comics by the infamous Cepax. This is a recipe for T&A success any way you slice it... or whip it, as the case may be.


7.   AND NOW THE SCREAMING STARTS


And Now the Screaming Starts featured Stephanie Beacham in cleavage-centric gowns throughout.  I think the "screaming" in the title refers to her boobs, literally screaming to burst free.


8.   BONNIE'S KIDS


For more on this enjoyable little film, check out this post by yours truly.


9.   SUGAR COOKIES


One the biggest pleasant surprises in a long, long time.  This film by Oliver Stone and Troma's Lloyd Kaufman, has an unexpectedly good story-line and acting.  You're ready for standard fare nudie cutie material, but instead you're delivered a well-written and rather dark story..... oh, yeah, and lot's of T&A.


10.   ALVIN PURPLE


There's an excellent documentary on the Australian exploitation explosion of the 1970s called Not Quite Hollywood.  Highly recommended.  It would a crying shame not to include the leader of the pack, Alvin Purple, on this list.  The girl above was so famous in Australia, she goes by one name: Abigail.


11.   FEMALE VAMPIRE


Would have garnered higher marks if Lina Romay was ever not nude... in any scene in any movie she's ever been in.  After a while, it becomes so commonplace you almost forget she's naked.  Still, it's a damn fine Franco flick, delivering on all the goods Euro-sleaze is supposed to deliver.


12.   SUPERCHICK


There's less bouncing in an NBA game than in this film starring Uschi Digard, Joyce Jillson, Candy Samples... and most importantly, Grizzly Adams himself - Dan Haggerty.


13.   BREEZY


Clint Eastwood does us a solid in Breezy.  He directs this picture featuring a nude Kay Lenz.  They don't call him Dirty Harry for nothing.


14.   HORROR RISES FROM THE TOMB


Paul Naschy was the Spanish horror king in the seventies.  Here creates the perfect blend of horror and T&A; a perverted paella, if you will.


15.   THE WORKING GIRLS


Cassandra Peterson (Elvira) shakin' it on stage.... how could this not make the list.  As Frank Sinatra said - "it was a very good year."

16.   TORSO


The Italian Giallo films were rarely available on VHS and they damn sure didn't play them on the CBS late night movie. So, it wasn't until Netflix made them available that I started taking a keen interest in them.  There's plenty of duds, but there's also some cinema gold to found as well.  Torso isn't one of the best, but it is slam packed with T&A and well worth a look.


17.   SHAFT IN AFRICA


Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? Shaft! You're damn right


18.   THE FREAKMAKER


Donald Sutherland plays a rabid mad scientist like nobody's business, and Tom Baker (Dr. Who) is his deformed henchman.  Add to the mix a bevy of boobs, and you've got yourself a winner.


19.   CANNIBAL GIRLS


Directed by Ivan Reitman and starring Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin!  This is like an SCTV horror movie parody with boobs.


20.   LIVE AND LET DIE


Jane Seymour plays a fortune teller who should have predicted that 007 would be shagging her within minutes.  Seymour's cleavage is a welcome addition to the Bond girl hall of fame.


21.   WALKING TALL


Not a whole lot in the T&A department in this classic Joe Don Baker flick.  However, we get to see the goods on Brenda Benet, Bill Bixby's wife. Which should count for something. (No Hulk, though, which is a shame.)


22.   G.I. EXECUTIONER


There's plenty of T&A to be had in this blaxploitation gem; however, it makes the list because of one gal -Angelique Pettyjohn.  Don't know her?  You may want to check out my post on the babes of Star Trek.


23.   MAGNUM FORCE


Suzanne Somers frolicking naked in a pool. Blink and you'll miss it.


AND THE REST...

24.  DON'T LOOK NOW
Great movie, and I'm still not convinced Julie Christie's sex scene with Donald Sutherland was simulated.  However, the poor lighting denies this film from getting on the list.

25.  THE HARRAD EXPERIMENT
A college campus sensation back in the day.  Supposedly based on true events of "free love experiments". T&A galore, but nothing to write home about

26.   INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS
The very definition of camp, but a high water mark in T&A this is not.

27.  THE LAST DETAIL
Jack Nicholson as Billy “Badass” Budduskey and Carol Kane as a naked whore.

28.   PAT GARRETT AND BILLY THE KID
Dimly lit Rita Coolidge boobs.

29.   SECRETS OF A DOOR-TO-DOOR SALESMAN
Kindred spirit to Britain's Carry On and Confessions of a.... films.  Just doesn't quite capture their magic.

30.   CIAO! MANHATTAN
Edie Sedgwick is topless throughout, but the thrill is gone.  She's strung out on drugs (in real life), looking sad and rough.  It's hard to enjoy T&A through the tears.

8 comments:

  1. what's the fuck ???
    never vitange sex on your blog !!!!
    kiss from France...(French kiss)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come again? This sounded like an insult at first, but then there was that French kiss thingy at the end, so I'm not sure.

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  2. Breezy was actually a decent film.

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  3. My Bro Gilligan- why the blurring of skin?? Google dropped you due to their lame belief of your content being too strong. Embrace it and X this site up!

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  4. There is only one way to describe Baba Yaga: a mindf**k. I didn't know that a film based on Valentina existed until recently. I'm now in love with Isabelle De Funes thanks to this movie. Carol Baker ain't bad either. Of course, nudity fits with Guido Creepax's comics. Recently rewatched Friday Foster, which was based on a 70s newspaper comic, and felt the nudity was way out of place, even though it was Pam Grier that was naked. Nice but out of place.

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  5. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Britt's head "shopped on" to a body double for The Whicker man?

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    Replies
    1. The scene is mostly her. Brit is only topless. The body double is used for the full body shots.

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  6. I saw Breezy back in the 80's on network TV - obvs that was a sanitized version...never knew there was nudity! I'd kinda like to see it again...I really enjoyed it. Good acting from William Holden and Kay Lenz.

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