1/28/13

Album Covers #35: More Vinyl Awfulness


Feelings That We Feel - the debut album from the The Galileans.  Be sure to catch their follow up LP Thoughts That We Thought. And let us not forget their platinum selling greatest hits record Memories that We Remember.




I know "ases" means "aces" in Spanish.  But you have to admit it's still pretty damn funny.


"Command Beating Hits"?  What the -?


Mancini was always such a classy guy - and I don't mean that facetiously.  He was one of the few easy listening artists that didn't rely heavily on cheesecake......... besides this album of course.  Good God.


Somehow Barry's chest hair emits a cosmic energy - it's like his manly pelt is so powerful it went full nova.


This looks like some innocent tomfoolery.  What you don't know is that this is a mob hit and the guy in front is on his knees begging for his life.


I'm on the fence with this one.  Her expression is a tad on the insane side, and that shirt is problematic.  This LP was actually a fold out, but that didn't exactly improve things.


Maybe, just maybe, having your single sleeve be an extreme close up wasn't the best idea in the world.


I can't decide if this is terrible.... or possibly the greatest album cover ever conceived.


"Fruitful" - get it?  I hope they plan on buying all that produce now that they've put their dirty hands all over it.  Something tells me The McKameys and Claudja Barry wouldn't get along.


Okay, I could make the obvious talley-whacker joke here, but I'm better than that.  Let's just hope they never were on the same ticket as the next group...


Suffice it to say, "Sweetbottom" is a really unfortunate band name.  And what are they standing in? It looks like cotton, although I'm not sure.  And yet there was an unrelated album that featured similar mystery floor covering...




This is unbelievably trippy.  You wouldn't think something so trippy could be terrible, but yet here it is.  I love how his ascot turns into a butterfly and a flock of doves emerge from his 'fro.


They're called "Smiley", yet they don't smile much.  Perhaps a more fitting name for the group would have been "Moose Knuckle" if you get my meaning.


I'm sure Rusty didn't mean this the way it sounds.... then again, maybe he did.  Rusty, you dirty dog.  High five - don't leave me hangin'.

19 comments:

  1. Rusty is a woman, and she meant it in the way you think. Check out the song "Bounce Your Boobies"...

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  2. Rusty Warren was the woman pictured: a comedienne. She meant it exactly as it sounds.

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  3. These are all great album covers, but what the heck is Claudja holding in her right hand? Looks like some serious hardware. ;)

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    Replies
    1. The 3-prong dong is understandable. But the antenna / stabby-thing? I'm confused...

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    2. nice! That was a Judas Priest song, wasn't it? The Green Manalishi with the 3-prong dong.

      You can barely make it out but the album is called Tripping On The Moon: my vote for greatest album cover of all-time. Hot chick in a skimpy metal bikini, holding a 3-prong dildo spear and standing on a turtle. Just writing that out it doesn't seem like it should exist.... but there it is.

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  4. Barry "Eve of Destruction" McGuire is the Brawny paper towel man, on bath salts

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  5. Dick Hyman is an enormously talented keyboard player. I'll bet "Command Beating Hits" is actually really good.

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  6. The problems are not with the album covers as much as how do you explain them today?
    How does Claudja explain this one to her kids?
    When she has a concert, do her fans dress like their favorite album covers?

    Album covers are the Facebook photos of their time.

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  7. LMAO at your commentary at #1.

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  8. You have outdone yourself with this one Gilligan! One of the best. I have a copy of Mancini's Angels FRAMED and hung in my den here at home. I think the Galileans must be one of those Born Again Christian groups, of which there were/are so many. The record company is Calvary.

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  9. Re the Smiley album. I'm not sure these guys would look even semi-attractive no matter what angle the photographer shot from but does anybody look good when shot from the ground?

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  10. Rusty Warren had a series of those "Knockers Up" comedy albums in the 60s, and they were pretty hilarious if I recall. They would be considered tame by today's standards though. She was a well known night club comedian and one of the first women who worked really "blue". Sexual connotations aside, I always wondered just what those two things the guy is holding in his hand are. They look kind of like the mallets you play a xylophone with.

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  11. I think they are glockenspiel mallets

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    Replies
    1. They are olives on long sticks, just pulled from the two martinis they are drinking.

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    2. Well I'll be darned, you are right. For years I wondered what they were. Aside from thinking they were xylophone mallets I thought maybe they were swizzle sticks from the drink. But the olive aspect never occured to me. Those "swizzle sticks" of old are another lost thing from an earlier era. I remember when every decent restaurant had their own unique ones. Seafood restaurants would sometimes have them shaped like swordfish with the long nose being the part in the drink. Now all you get is a cheap plastic straw.

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  12. Great stuff. I just love the name Dick Hyman.

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  13. ... here's an SCTV take-off on Rusty Warren
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liOtOSR_Pp0

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  14. You've got to put up an mp3 link for Smiley!
    I'm guessing that they're like the Portuguese (???) Moody Blues?
    --someone with a soft soft for prog-rock

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