10/4/11

Catalog #15: More Sleazy 80s Catalogs


A while back I brought up the Catalog of Shame. Sears and JC Penney catalogs lingerie sections were familiar stroking stomping grounds for young boys coming of age back in the days before the internet. Indeed, you might say the Montgomery Wards bra section was a rite of passage for young lads of the seventies.... or you might just say it was a primitive 1970s wanking tool.


I think we understand each other. Before things starts getting really awkward, let's move on...


Before the eighties, overtly sexy lingerie were relegated to a handful of specialty catalogs like Frederick's of Hollywood. The Sears and JC Penny bra sections were as benign as the garden supply and bath towel sections - they certainly weren't designed with titillation in mind (that was the purview of hormonally challenged fifth graders).  The fact that there were thousands, if not millions, of sweaty pre-adolescents  taken away to paradise via these seemingly innocent catalogs, would have surely horrified the Sears catalog designers.

But then came the 1980s. A wave of sleazy catalogs that made our old Montgomery Wards look like Romper Room hit the mass market.  Victoria's Secret landed on shelves in the late 70's, and it wasn't long before there were catalogs o'plenty that could turn any Plain Jane into a Solid Gold Dancer.  The simple yet profound Sears bra section was a thing of the past... make way for the newer sluttier catalogs of shame!








Have a bit part in a Stryper video? Plan on pleasuring Kip Winger back stage? Have no fear.  These catalogs have everything you'll need to fit any illicit occasion.


























17 comments:

  1. The blonde lady who is on the majority of the German catalog pages is simply gorgeous! She adds a touch of class to these "Catalogs of Shame"! :o)

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    1. I just love the JBF hair style.

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  2. The women in leopard print (521/522) look more like men who are really good at tucking.

    And hey! I see areolas on some! Today's catalogs are so freaking creepy. They photoshop out the nipples and areolas, leaving them looking like Barbie's boobs.

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    1. I'm pretty certain that 521 is one of the 80s most popular page 3 girls, Maria Whittaker.

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  3. Back before phototshop, we used to fix pictures of lingerie ad photos, civilians called it airbrushing but it was mostly done by hand with a small paintbrush or sometimes we would scrape the emulsion right off a print or negative with a razor blade. We had quite a collection of "before they were smooth like Barbies". A Bali bra rep saw them in our darkroom. We got bitched by the boss and had to throw them out.

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    1. I remember doing much the same at the newspaper where I worked: razors, opaquing fluid, tiny slivers of rubylith. Not just pre-Photoshop, it was pre-everything really, and I started out setting type via a pre-Windows computer system in 1978. Computers were not taken seriously then, I can tell you that.

      For the XXXX-rated theater ads in one of the sleazier auxiliary publications, someone would use a felt-tip to draw brassieres on the naked models before the art was shot. But it looked awful, and the advertisers complained, so we'd either perform a nipple-ectomy on the negs with an X-acto knife, or paint bikini tops on them with opaquing fluid. It wasn't fine art, but it worked.

      And our camera room guys also had a selected photo gallery in their darkroom (this seems to have been common practice in the industry) and that collection also ended up in the garbage can. In this case, however, the photos were seen by a particularly nosy kid, part of a Cub Scout troop touring the plant, and his parents threw a fit about it. Oops. Well, he *had* been told the darkroom was off-limits.

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  4. OH MY WORD, I LOVE THE 80s!

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  5. Well, I'll tell you this, the pictures of women without nipples in the bra ads turn me right off of buying the product. It's just too creepy. Makes the part of me that watches too many horror movies imagine that the product is cursed and any woman who wears it will end up nipple-less.

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  6. As Frank Zappa once remarked: "A breast without a nipple is just a blob of fat!" Dumbing down all the way to brain death to appease the idiots, sad!

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  7. I'm pretty sure the blonde in the German pages is Yorkshire Page 3 stunner Tracy Dixon:

    http://www.page3.com/girl/tracy_dixon/index.shtml

    She was also a regular on the weekly ITV show of the incomprehensibly popular "comedy" group The Grumbleweeds.

    Paul

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  8. @Paul: Based on your link, I can tell the one model from the German catalog is definitely Ms. Dixon! Cool to place a name to this lovely lady!

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  9. "sluttier"

    Watch it Gilligan,
    You have a lot of fans who have ordered from these businesses and have had fun doing so.
    Many a cold night has been made warmer with a few of these items. It shows an appreciation for your partner.

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  10. The blonde girl in the 3rd photo down wearing the black robe is actress/model K.C. Winkler.

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  11. When I was but a lad, we had some neighbors, he was a nice guy, his wife was drop-dead gorgeous. Many times, when they were out of town, we would pick up their mail. I would often see "Frederick's of Hollywood" catalogs as well as packages "in plain brown wrappers". I was dying to know what they purchased-and what Wife looked like in them, lol.

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  12. When I was but a lad, we had some neighbors, he was a nice guy, his wife was drop-dead gorgeous. Many times, when they were out of town, we would pick up their mail. I would often see "Frederick's of Hollywood" catalogs as well as packages "in plain brown wrappers". I was dying to know what they purchased-and what Wife looked like in them, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  13. When I was but a lad, we had some neighbors, he was a nice guy, his wife was drop-dead gorgeous. Many times, when they were out of town, we would pick up their mail. I would often see "Frederick's of Hollywood" catalogs as well as packages "in plain brown wrappers". I was dying to know what they purchased-and what Wife looked like in them, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  14. When I was but a lad, we had some neighbors, he was a nice guy, his wife was drop-dead gorgeous. Many times, when they were out of town, we would pick up their mail. I would often see "Frederick's of Hollywood" catalogs as well as packages "in plain brown wrappers". I was dying to know what they purchased-and what Wife looked like in them, lol.

    ReplyDelete