11/12/10

Album Covers #14: More Awful Album Covers


Ahhhh. There's just nothing better than a good bad album cover.  Let's take a look at few, shall we?

It pains me that all of the following images are less than 500 pixels wide - I usually require a decent amount of resolution so that their badness can be full appreciated.  However, I was recently sent a ton of album images (many I'd never seen before), and beggars can't be choosers. I simply had to share some of them.



1016-1

I love Dino - he's the king of cool, but this album cover is horrible.  Dean Martin is the coolest cat to have ever lived - making a good looking record cover should've been a no-brainer... somehow, this album designer was actually able to screw it up, in spite of Dino's impressive mojo.

1089-1

Jesus, what is this? Music to commit suicide to? A nice touch would've been to put a revolver on the table in front of him.


1088-1

Call me crazy, but that dude looks like Mark Wahlberg, does he not? And to answer their question - YES.  Marky Mark seems preoccupied with something (perhaps a Celtics game); wait till the game is over to have sex.

1538-1

This looks more like a hostage situation than a teen danse party.  The dude in the middle simply looks  too old to be hangin' with this crowd.... I don't trust him.
 

1014-1

Yes, Mr. Tyson got a Saturday Night Fever suit and a new toupée.... he is born again, baby!

970-1

WTF? Our high-tech recording engineer is taping the sounds of a hand puppet?... mouthed by a chick in a bikini?... standing in high heels behind a pointless wire frame?.... . so many questions.

1049-1

Looks like Bump Jive No. 9 is just an awkward hip bump.  Perhaps Bump Jive No. 10 will be a little more interesting.  I love m'lady's jeans; that look is really working for her.

1084-1

I'm diggin the chick and the shag comforter.... however, I'm not so impressed with the baby bottle in her mouth.  I understand "El Biberon" means "the bottle" - but surely this is not what the Colonial Set had in mind.  This is either really kinky or really dumb.... something tells me it's a little bit of both.

1110-1

Okay, now this is just effing scary.  

950-1

Guilda is awfully proud of her fur isn't she? What is that - mink? possum? The dead animals look remarkably intact; I'll bet some of these still have their heads.  Did she buy it from a taxidermist?

948-1

No disrespect, Miss Mabley, but this isn't what I had in mind when I came the Playboy club.  Say a prayer she doesn't take her top off.

14 comments:

  1. Wow... Just all kinds of WTF going on in this post. Great - but weird - stuff dude!

    And let's hope she also HAS her pants on!

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  2. Where do you find this stuff? Those are scary. I guess their poor taste in album covers paid off because here we are years later looking at them.

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  3. I think Moms Mabley, angry about the exploitation of young women, is actually at the Playboy Club with the goal of sucker punching Hef himself.

    And I love the Dino one! It reminds me of the Bobby Darin album Love Swings where he's posing smoking a pipe and wearing what looks like a sailor's cap.

    Thanks for the laugh! I'm just sorry I didn't have time to find some of these first for Go Retro.

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  4. Moms Mabley is the ORIGINAL Madea.
    If you have not seen or heard her act, then look her up. You will not be disappointed.

    (In the act. The Album cover I agree with you on.)

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  5. The Cook's Tour of High Fidelity album cover is just plain awesome. I would buy it.

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  6. I too dig the Cook's Tour of HiFi cover. A good audio geek will always pay more attention to his VU meters than to the chick in the bikini talking to her puppet.

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  7. I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Your comments are almost better than the covers themselves! Thanks!

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  8. Guilda is actually a transvestite born in 1924 (he's still alive). He did his shows in Montreal (and around) during the 50's and 60's while the church was fuming red (notwithstanding the fact that he was openly bisexual).

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  9. Guilda is a transvestite?.... (ahem) I mean, I knew that. It's not like I was thinking he/she was hot or anything..... (whistling uncomfortably)..

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  10. OMG, I own that Moms Mabley record. I actually bought it for the comedy! She was so damn funny in her day.

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  11. As for Guilda being a transvestite... that makes sense, in light of the title (It means 'A woman like no other...?')

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  12. The one I'm most curious about is the Tyson's Born Again album. I have always been fascinated by the tackiness of 1970s evangelical Christianity, nowhere more in evidence than on this album cover. Also I wonder if this title was influenced by the Chuck Colson memoir and movie of the same name - trying to cash in on the trend and phrase.

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  13. Gilligan, your comments were priceless!!! Great job!

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